Sprengbewb Skorppoonts

Nothing interesting ever happens around here...

I'm so very bored and lonely. All of my friends stop calling, visiting, and basically talking to me in general. They don't hate me, but they're all content with me not being around. The same with Steve. We feel like our friends have forgotten about us. They only visit once every week or two, and I think it's out of pity or something. And ever since Kaitlyn and I broke up, I'm half fine with it. I don't really want to see her. It's depressing but I feel like I want to forget she ever existed. I still feel upset that for the last few months of our relationship she lied to me. She told me she loved me when she didn't, and I'm more hurt by that than anything. Even her and Kyle having sex. Of course I was completely upset and wrecked up emotionally and mentally about it, but I just want someone to love who loves me back. All the while when she didn't love me she wouldn't let me flirt with her, but she would constantly flirt back. All the while she just really wanted Kyle. I'm assuming she still does, and I'm also assuming that Kyle does too, because he's the one who asked her if they could have sex.

We think he wants to keep our friendship in the best condition he can, so he won't go out with her. While she was wanting to break up with me and go with Kyle he told her that he couldn't love her as much as I could and she should try and stay with me. I really appreciate what he's doing, sacrifice his own feelings for someone else's. Even after knowing he fucked Kaitlyn and they want each other still, he's trying to keep it platonic. Bleh.

Back to being forgotten. I think I'm invisible. True. In real life and on the internet. No one notices or remembers me. :( I think I'm an attention whore who doesn't want any attention. And the loneliness doesn't help. (Back to the ex)Knowing that Kaitlyn and Kyle have slept together(and I'm not talking about sexually either, just falling asleep with someone in your arms and waking up in the morning next to them) and because she's still in high school I was never able to sleep next to her, knowing that they have and I haven't hurts. But oh well, I'll just have to deal with emptiness until someone likes me back.

To deal with no one being around, i've gone out of my way recently to interact with as many people as I can. I've tried to get some people together to watch movies, and up until recently, it's been a depressing struggle. People showed up last time and that's good. I really want some friends. People who I can hang out with regularly, because I can only take so much of Steve. @.@ Now that we're getting a housepartment I will be further removed from having newer friends, so I'm trying to make as many as I possibly can, but I don't think I'll have much luck.

Oh well.

/sigh